If I have all this money, why aren't I happy? This isn't what I imagined success would be like." This question is the starting point of an excellent, honest conversation about money, success and happiness, with executive coach Pamela York Klainer in How Much Is Enough: Harness the Power of Your Money Story and Change Your Life. Though written before the downturn, when being flush with money created a crisis a meaning, it's still a crucial question - and a common harbinger of midlife. As is the question: "how much is enough?" whether you envision an active working life of 30 more years, or are planning your options for a more leisurely retirement.
It's an especially important question if fear is driving your choices. You could continue to do what you know, but you already know how to do that. You've made your money and had your success. The interesting challenge now may be to change the equation to focus on what you may not know how to do so well, which is to find ways to let yourself be happy. She asks: Do you know the number that will allow you to continue your lifestyle throughout your projected life expectancy? Take the time to do this analysis. It's immensely powerful to have an actual number in front of you.
She suggests looking at money and success as containers that you put your resources into, expecting that something will happen, like a sabbatical, purchase, or a job change. Money is good at buying containers of expectations, but not the meaning to fill them - meaning has to come from inside. She proposes asking these questions to vet your investments in the light of the return they bring on your expectations. Consider a financial commitment you've made in the hope that something will happen for you:
* What container did you buy? A promotion, funding a philanthropic venture, borrowing to fund a new business?
* What do you/ or did you expect the container to do for you, make you happier, less lonely, more admired, more of a player?
* Can you assess whether the container you've chosen can deliver what you've asked of it?
* If you've gotten on the wrong path, do you know how to self-correct?
* If you've gotten what you want, can you allow yourself to pause and feel satisfied?
* If you do feel satisfied, can that satisfaction expand into a feeling of happiness, at least for the moment? Can you say to yourself "I've gotten what I longed for, and right now it's enough"?
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